Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Family Meeting

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Posted by Tiffany Cooper

Meetings. They happen every single day of the week all around the world. Some people cringe at the thought of a “meeting” and others get warm fuzzies thinking about gathering to deliberate and eat. After all, the greatest meetings have yummy food!

As a woman in ministry, I’m sure you’ve participated in your share of meetings or listened to your husband’s recap of his own. Not only do the greatest meetings have yummy food, they also have a clear purpose and a specific end goal. They make the organization better.

The JustONE Virtual Conference is like our all-inclusive “family” meeting. We meet together for 4 consecutive weeks to hear from women who share our same heartbeat for life and ministry. Are we encouraged? Yes! Are we challenged? Absolutely! Are we sometimes lovingly corrected? Thankfully, yes! Our purpose and goal is being “virtually” accomplished.

My favorite meeting happened this week, the Cooper Family meeting. The purpose was to review our families’ responsibilities and goals, which had lost consistency over the last month. We challenged our kids to refocus attention on how they are treating one another, to speak and act in love. We corrected behaviors that were displeasing. Most of all, we laughed! My heart felt like it could burst from the love I felt in that moment. Family meetings not only improve our function and focus as a family, they deepen our bond.

We can be guilty of having meetings for everything but our families. Today I encourage you to set aside time to have a family meeting. They don’t have to be long; our Tuesday meeting was only 20 minutes.

How to prepare for your family meeting:

  • Plan ahead & write it on the calendar. If you don’t, it probably won’t happen.
  • Prepare any materials that may help reinforce your discussion. I print out our responsibility chart so my kids can see it while we’re talking.
  • Have something yummy or special to enjoy while you’re meeting.
  • Set the tone. Let them know that your family meeting is important and valued in your home. Stay focused, be firm when necessary and speak in love with understanding.
  • End on an encouraging note.

Some topic suggestions: (You can alter these if you don’t have kids in the home or if you’re single)

  • Praise your kids for what they are doing well.
  • Challenge them. Correct them if needed. Discuss areas you would like to see improvement. Present a plan to accomplish your family’s goals. Revisit the plan throughout the year to keep everyone focused.
  • Ask your kids about what is happening in their lives, the positive and negative. Inquire about areas you can help them more. Let them know that you are their biggest supporters.
  • Ask them about their dreams. This will help you to know how to encourage and guide them. Encourage*Encourage*Encourage!
  • Don’t just talk it, walk it! It doesn’t matter how great your family plan is if you don’t live it yourself. Your words are just a dream if your actions don’t scream integrity. The goal is for your talk to reinforce what you already walk, that’s power.

Let’s converse! Did you grow up with family goals? Family plans? Do you have goals for your family? How do you communicate these goals to your kids? How do you keep the goals in focus in your life?

Fun Friday…Defining Moments For Our Children

Friday, January 20th, 2012

Posted by:  Jessica Cornelius

My son Mason turned 13.  This age is a big deal because it marks the teenage years, and in most cultures, it’s the day a boy becomes a man.  I wonder how many teenagers would make wiser decisions if they knew they were a man and didn’t have to prove it by doing something stupid or immoral (or both)?  Having said that, we decided to have a rite of passage ceremony at the beach.  A rite of passage denotes rituals marking the transitional phase between childhood and full inclusion into a tribe or social group.  We invited men that Mason looks up to and none of his friends, so that Mason could really focus on the importance of the event.  I didn’t get to go either, it was guys only.

We have always told our children that when they turn 13 they are going to have a rite of passage ceremony.  We told them it was all a secret, and they wouldn’t be able to find out anything about it until the special day.  We have talked about it so much over the years that they have built it up in their minds to this grand epic event.  After many hours of research, planning, and praying, it ended up being even more epic than I expected.  God exceeded my expectations!  I thought it was just going to be a special time to celebrate a milestone in Mason’s life.  Oh no…Mason came home that night with a fresh passion for the Lord.  I could tell from the look on his face that he had just had a life changing night!!!!  The best way to describe it is that something was unlocked in him.  Through tears he told me it was the best day of his life, and he will never forget it.  He said that he didn’t know everyone loved him that much.  In my mind I was thinking, “What?!?! How can you not know that?”  He also told me about all of the wisdom he gained from the men that were there.

Before Mason went to bed he asked if he could pray with us.  Then he said in his prayer, “I feel like tonight was the appetizer,” referring to the rest of his life being something to really look forward to.  What happened is really simple. The men in Mason’s life helped place destiny in his heart and he accepted it to become a man.  Here’s how it went down:

Mason is “kidnapped” in our house by two staff members. (We added this part to make it “epic”, as Mason would say).  It didn’t end up very scary because our staff guys got the wrong kid, and I started laughing.  Watch the video here.

When they got to the beach Mason was so surprised to see all of the men around a big bonfire, cheering for him.  They started with the Wisdom Walk.

The Wisdom Walk is where different men walk with Mason from the bonfire to a dune with a valley in it that they deemed the “Valley of Manhood.”  On the walk, the men shared a word of wisdom with Mason.  Then they watched him shoot an arrow at a target set up for him and then prayed with him.  Bil walked with Mason first.  They weren’t there five minutes before they were both crying.  Bil told him how much he approved of him, believed in him and shared that he is destined for greatness (which he has told him his whole life).  Then Bil prayed with him.  On the walk back, Mason said, “Dad, can we slow down?  I want this to last.”

After all the wisdom walks were done, two friends began to beat drums (very tribal!) while they all put war paint on.  Then they shaved some of Mason’s hair off with drums beating and all the guys hooping and hollering.  When I researched rights of passage I found that this is often done so that the person comes away looking different.  It represents a new beginning.

I had also read that there was usually a test of bravery.  So Mason had to walk into the ocean, in the dark, to pull out an anchor that one of the guys had placed in the water earlier.  Our beach is shallow for a long way out, but it is still creepy to go out sixty feet, in the dark, all alone.  I picked an anchor so Mason would always have a visual to remind him that God’s Word is an anchor in his life.  It keeps him from floating off and making unwise decisions.

After that, Bil talked with Mason about being a godly man and had him repeat a pledge that Bil wrote.  He prayed over Mason while weeping, and then talked about Exodus 20:4, mentioning God’s blessing extending to generations.  Then Bil asked his dad (Mason’s grandfather) to pray for Mason while all the men laid hands on him.  You can see the pledge here.

What have you done, or plan on doing for a special time in your child’s life?

My Bare Christmas Tree

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Posted by Tiffany Cooper

I  love my family intensely. I cherish their presence, enjoy our time together and wouldn’t want to live life without them. In the midst of busyness, I’m committed to keeping them a priority. But there are moments when I fail at putting them ahead of less important tasks. If I’m honest, I do a good job (most of the time) of keeping my husband a priority but sometimes fail at doing the same for my kids when I feel overwhelmed with what needs to be done. Thankfully, I get jolting reminders at just the right times. In fact, this week I had one of those jolts!

Tuesday night I had the luxury of enjoying alone time with my 7 year old son while my husband took the younger 3 kids to basketball. In my mind I had planned to finish my Christmas decor, I’m behind schedule this year and it was starting to bother me. But my plans quickly changed when I saw how excited my son was to spend alone time with me. He was smiling so big, hugging me and asking me to play a card game with him. We immediately turned on the Christmas music, grabbed some Oreos and spent an hour playing cards together. In that moment, nothing else mattered to me. My to-do list vanished, the tasks weighing on my  mind became less necessary and my priorities were put in place as we laughed and talked.

While tucking him into bed that night, he grabbed me for one more big hug and said, “Mom, thank you for playing cards with me tonight. It was so much fun. I love you.”

My Christmas tree is still bare and I don’t care! Every time I look at it I think about that one special hour with my precious son and everything feels beautiful and right in my world.

How do you keep your family a priority? How do you keep them a priority during busy holiday season?

Merry Christmas to…. Baby Moses??

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Posted by Brandi Wilson

A few weeks ago when we started pulling down Christmas decorations Pete and I had a little conversation with our 5 year-old, Brewer.  Trying to enforce the “reason for the season” from the time we plug in the first strand of lights, I asked him, “Brewer, why do we celebrate Christmas?” He quickly replied, “Santa.”  Being a little guy that’s a pretty typical mistake so I tried to lead him into the correct answer… “But Brewer, who was born at Christmas? Baby _____” He confidentally answered, “Baby Moses.”

At that point my mouth probably hit the floor… so I did what any good mother would do. I immediately unpacked our Fisher Price Nativity Scene to start quizzing him on the other characters included.  I pulled out Mary and Joseph and showed them to Brewer.  “Buddy, these are Baby Jesus’ Momma and Daddy… what are their names?” He rolls them around in his pudgy hands and answers, “I don’t know, Momma. Can I have a tree in my room?”

So not only did my “preacher’s kid” incorrectly identify Baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph… he didn’t care!!!

What’s the point of this story?  There’s not one really.  Except to say that my house is beautifully decorated for Christmas and now I’ve got plenty of time to quiz Brewer on Christmas season trivia. :)

I’m sure I could go in a direction of creating some perception of how beautifully our family Bible study works.  I could tell some story of redemption where Brewer ends up retelling a heartfelt story of the night Jesus was born. I could create some guilt by talking about how sometimes I get caught up in the big things and forget the small things.

But honestly I was just telling the story because I thought it was funny.  I think it’s funny my husband is a well respected pastor and I’m an active part of this community for pastors’ wives and my kid confused Baby Jesus for Baby Moses. And to let you see that things don’t always go as smoothly as they should inside the Wilson home.

Have a great start to the Christmas season, ladies.  And every time your preschooler talks about Baby Jesus remember you’ve got one up on me! :)

The Life You Lead

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

My Dad, Tim Rust

Posted by Tiffany Cooper

May the life you lead, lead others to Jesus. -@TimothyRust

Tim Rust is my dad and the life he led, led me to Jesus.  My dad was many things before I entered the world.  He was a youth pastor when I made my debut and has also served as an associate pastor, senior pastor and now as a church planter and Cowboy Church plant director.

My family went to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and other times in-between.  My dad always went the extra mile to minister to others, especially those with an extra need.  The lives impacted by his ministry can’t be counted.  He was, and is, a great pastor but that’s not what made me want to commit my life to God.

#1 Reason I Wanted to Live for God

My dad (and mom) lived a life that led me to Jesus.  He was the same man at home that he was at church.  I witnessed his commitment to God, love for people, grace towards others, his kind heart and so much more in my home.  Never, not once, did I question who my dad was.  I knew his likes, hobbies, pains and dreams.  I had the best dad in the world!  He was a glimpse of my heavenly father!  If my heavenly father was like my dad, I wanted to know Him.

Parents, I encourage you to live a life that leads your children to Jesus.  Be parents of love, integrity, grace, encouragement, discipline, joy, fun times…but most of all, be parents who live a life committed to Christ at church and at home.  Be authentic, be real, be you.  I love that my life is one of the most powerful tools I have to teach my kids about God.

How can our lives teach our kids about God?  Ideas?  Thoughts?

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