Hi, I’m Balance…
Posted by Brandi Wilson
Very rarely do pastors’ wives get together without several common themes filtering through the conversation. Topic such as…
Tell me about your church…
What does your Sunday look like?
How do you support your husband?
Being inclined to function as a “helper” I think about that last question a lot. Currently I’m a stay at home mom with three boys who are my top priority, so how do I pitch in and really provide help for my husband?
Often I find my most important job is balance. Pete’s job is busy and exhausting and my job is to help pull him away from that. Help him disconnect, absorb new strength. I want him to walk out the door renewed and recharged.
Does that mean I have the house spotlessly clean with a fancy dinner cooked when he walks in the door… ummmm, not usually. For us it means less yelling (please act shocked that I occasionally yell at my kids). It means thinking ahead so our evenings run a little smoother. It means I handle a large amount of details concerning how our home functions. It means making sure we don’t over schedule ourselves and have plenty of time at home, as a family.
Simply, I want him to enjoy being at home. Am I always successful? No. Do I occasionally still nag? Never… okay, sometimes. Do I offer him more balance then I did 5 years ago? Absolutely.
Currently the greatest gift I’m giving my husband is balance. What is the greatest gift you’re giving your husband?
11 Responses to “Hi, I’m Balance…”
I have a question. Is this just something a woman can practice after marriage or are their ways I can build my support skills as a single woman?
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August 10th, 2010 at 8:19 amLove this, balance is a good reminder. As soon as we find balance, something else comes up. Good to always strive for though!!
Right now I am working to make our home relaxing. A refuge where he can come home and recharge. Looking forward to reading more ideas!!
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August 10th, 2010 at 2:41 pmI read once in a book that we should make the pathway home to us one of the most exciting parts of our husbands day.. so the greatest gift i am giving my husband these days is time when he arrives home to unwind, so he can go for a run or check out the surf contest online or whatever he needs to regroup, then i try to not ask too much of him, just make room for him to connect with each of the kids in some way, generally he wrestles the 3 year old, kisses the baby and talks to our daugther about her day.. my mother in law encouraged me to make that room so he can connect daily with the kids..
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Brandi, will you be my husband too. 
Seriously, you’re amazing and the role you play is a huge blessing to all of us who serve in your circle. Love yah, friend!
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August 11th, 2010 at 11:35 amoh my gosh… You dont want to know how many times ive asked the question.. “So how do we balance a marraige, kids, family and a CHURCH”?? Well after all the years that my husband and I have been in ministry… finally someone actually explaines what the balance is! This is so helpful to me, thankyou so much!
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Great words, thank you for sharing!
Growing up my mom always told me the women is the thermostat of the home. She sets the “temperature”. So as I’m peaceful, my home is relatively peaceful.
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Andie… I love the thermostat comparison. I’m gonna have to remember that!
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Excellent post! Pete is blessed to have you!
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I think in this church world, balance “out there” will never happen: meetings, weekends, phone calls, but we get to bring balance at home to counteract the chaos of this amazing journey!
Great words!
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Jennifer,
You can absolutely establish for yourself as a single woman a lifestyle that fosters peace and support in the home. When you are married, that will move into the marriage with you … and adapt to your new normal.
The following are lessons I have learned … and wish I did sooner!
-Adopt for yourself a desire for a clean home that is ready to welcome visitors at a moment’s notice.
-Sharpen the inner “Martha Stewart” by practicing making meals at home – invite friends over to eat them. Become really GOOD at the basics – like how to cook a chicken breast without burning the outside while leaving the inside raw (something that took me awhile to do!)
-Speak kindly to those you love. Ask them with genuine interest about their day. Offer encouragement.
-Go with the flow. Having a husband in ministry means sometimes putting your plans on the back-burner. Its not really a 9-5 job. So when something comes up, and it will, be flexible without holding a grudge.
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