After The Wedding Wednesday… A Close Call
Posted by Jenni Clayville
You can see all of the “After The Wedding Wednesday” and contact Jenni here.
I receive emails every week from other people experiencing the pain of infidelity.
Often, they are emails expressing relief of now knowing they’re not alone in their journey. Sometimes, a spouse has just found out about an affair. Sometimes, the unfaithful is looking for advice on how to confess. And sometimes, someone just wants prayer because their spouse doesn’t want to make it work.
Each person that writes to us ends up getting their name hand-scribbled into my journal so I remember to pray over them. This is my privilege. This is the reminder of WHY I shared my story publicly. This is what keeps me humble.
But rarely, do I receive “close-call” emails.
I received this one from “Eve” a few months ago. I’ve received permission to share her letter as long as I kept her anonymous, so “Eve” she will be for now:
Hi Jenni,
I have to confess I have been reading your website for a couple years now and have always meant to send you an email but haven’t. I wanted to say that the courage in your story and the raw emotion that you have shown along with your commitment to be closer to your husband and God is awe inspiring and has really assisted me in putting things in perspective for myself. I am married now but this is my first marriage and the second for my husband.
About 6 months ago I could see myself distancing, and we were starting to become “glorified roommates”. It was one day I came home from work and a male coworker had asked me if I wanted to grab lunch the next day that I got to thinking. I was giddy, excited, and felt “special”. But when I really started to think about it I asked myself why was SOME OTHER man besides my husband making me feel like this?
I read your blog one more time and I snapped out of it. Not only was going to lunch with him very inappropriate but it was asking for disaster. I knew he had a supposed crush on me and I was walking into the fire.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the courage, grace and love in your heart for others to be able to come forward and share your story so unabashedly and wholly. I know that sharing your story had to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but please know that you are changing lives by eliminating the shame and stigma of the subject. We are all after all human and as such will fall down but it’s not how you fall down but how you pick yourself back up that counts.
I’m happy to say I sought counseling, turned things around and my husband is now in Afghanistan on deployment with the Army. We are happily planning our “real wedding” as we only had a courthouse wedding in the first place.
I guess I just wanted to say, the truth is life changing. And you assisted me in seeing that.
My heart to yours,
“Eve”
This is why I shared my story. And this is why I’ll keep an open dialogue about infidelity till I die. Because sometimes, a marriage can experience a “close-call” instead of devastation. You don’t have to have experiences a moral failure to share your story. You just have to share it.
So… here’s my challenge to you:
SHARE YOUR STORY!
The good, the bad and the ugly.
SHARE IT.
You never know what it can do for someone else.
God-Sized Goals…
Posted by Brandi Wilson
Holidays are over… and I’m kinda bummed about it. I’ve loved having my family all together, all day, waking up in pajamas and going to bed in the same pair. Pajama days are definitely one of my favorite things. Plus the quality and quantity time have been priceless.
But all good things must come to an end. Our Christmas decorations are about 75% of the way down and I’m hoping to finish the packing up and pull our house back to presentable form today. My brain and body can’t function amongst clutter.
It’s a new year and so much is swirling around in my head… goals, to-do lists, budget changes. The “clean slate” is invigorating and overwhelming.
We had a question on twitter yesterday that I wanted to ask over here so I could hear from more of you (and if you don’t follow us on twitter, you should! Follow us HERE).
So here’s our discussion question for the day… What is one God-sized goal you have for this year?
I’ll go first. I’ve taken on a few big commitments this year (you’ll be hearing more about them soon). I’m excited about the commitments and getting out of my comfort zone but it’s also incredibly scary. There are definitely some tough time management decisions I’m going to have to make and some areas where I’m going to have to cut back. I’m very aware I cannot balance it all. In fact, I’m scared to death. But even more than knowing my fear, I know God has called me to it and He’s gonna equip me. He’s not calling me to handle it all alone… He’s calling me to follow Him through it. So, in short, my goal is to NOT follow my normal habit of trying to handle everything on my own, but allow my focus to remain on the one that brings peace. I will focus on today and what I’m to do today.
Your turn… What is one God-sized goal you have for this year?
PS – Thanks Heather for the great question.
Big Things for 2012 …
Posted by Lori Wilhite
Huge … Gigantic … Enormously big things happening around Leading and Loving It in 2012. Here is a breakdown of what you can look forward to this year.
The JustONE Conference starts in three weeks! This is our no-travel, no-babysitter-required, totally-free, attend-in-your-PJs, online conference. You’ll get to spend four weeks with some amazing speakers journeying through 1 Timothy 4:12-16. If you would like to receive email reminders for the JustONE Conference, CLICK HERE TO REGISTER. Registration is not required to attend, it is only required if you wish to receive email notifications.
Registration for our new season of Virtual Community Groups will begin Monday, January 23rd. We are launching many new VCGs, so you’ll be able to find one that fits your role and your schedule. These groups meet once a month thanks to high-speed internet and web cams.
In the words of Stephanie, one of our VCG Leaders, “I live in a small town in rural Kentucky. Up until last year I felt very alone and isolated. Then God led me to L&L It and helped me get up the courage to lead a VCG. I now have PW friends in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Texas & Alberta, Canada that I can talk to when things in my life & ministry are overwhelming or when God does something great in my personal life! I’ve made wonderful connections this past year and look forward to making many more! God has blessed me so much through you ladies!”
Don’t miss out on joining one of our Virtual Community Groups soon.
Over the last six months, we’ve had Local Events popping up all around the country. We have really enjoyed hearing about all of them. We will have more Local Events as we head into this next year … even the possibility of our first International Local Event. If you would like to connect with the staff ladies/wives at your church or in your community, we would love to partner with you to make that happen.
And … mark your calendars …
We are excited to announce our next Leading and Loving It Retreat: Road Trip. Tuesday, September 11th through Thursday, September 13th, Pastors Wives and Women in Ministry will converge in downtown Oklahoma City. Lots more details and registration coming later in January, but I can guarantee that we are planning to have just as much fun as last year!
We will be hitting a few conferences this Spring.
Brandi and I will be speaking at the Pastors’ Wives track at Velocity in Atlanta with our friend, Tricia Lovejoy. If you’d like to join us February 27&28, you can get 20% off by using the discount code #velocity12Lori
Brandi and I will also be doing a lab at Catalyst West Coast on April 18th in Orange County, California.
My husband, Jud, and I will be at The Exponential Conference in Orlando Florida April 23-26.
If you are going to be at any of these conferences, please let us know because we would love to meet up with you!
Believe it or not, there are lots of other things being planned as well. So, we hope that we get to see lots of you both online and in person in 2012!
From our Families to Yours …
We pray your families have an incredible Christmas as you worship, serve, and share Jesus. We love you ladies and will see you again in January. Have a blessed few weeks!
Pete, Brandi, Jett, Gage, and Brewer Wilson
Herbert, Tiffany, Cale, Cade, Caris, and Case Cooper
David, Lisa, Charlie, Victoria, and Zane Hughes
Bil, Jessica, Mason, Cole, and Sophie Cornelius
Creature of Habit…
Post by Brandi Wilson
In many ways I am a creature of habit… I always have been. For as long as I remember I get used to how things normally work and I’m comfortable there.
Perfect example… every Monday night we eat Mexican with friends. It’s been this way for about 18 months. Yes, every Monday night. Of the 52 Mondays in a year we have probably eaten Mexican with friends 42 of those. Sometimes it’s as small as two families and other times it grows to include 5 or 6 families. And all these families have kids so we’re talking about 30 people sometimes. We take over the whole side of our local Las Palmas.
I’ll be honest, it isn’t great Mexican food. It’s mediocre at best. But it’s close to where we all live and it’s super affordable. We really meet weekly not for the food, but for the time together, for the laughter. It’s a great way to start the week.
Have anything you’re a creature of habit about??
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